The original post gave me a big case of the oh, what the fuck, NO, but the reactions from intelligent women made it a lot better.

You know, part of me thinks we're giving a creep too much attention here, but the majority of me thinks, no. No, we need to point at thise with BIG FUCKING NEON ARROWS and say, "THIS. This is what we mean. This is what we're talking about. THIS."

I feel like I need a "No, I am not interested in healing the psychic wound caused by your weaning" t-shirt.

I would think so if I hadn't felt so sick and creeped-out that most of the FIRST THREE PAGES OF COMMENTS were APPROVING when I signed on this morning.

I... I... WHAT THE HELL?!

--that totally and completely aimed at him, not you.

You are awesome.

That?

Is fucked up.

Oh, and I see he's disabled the comments now. Wuss.

Fuck! I've been following this since last night, making a list of links to all these fantastic comment that were not only relevant to the topic at hand, but extremely well thought out and well written comments aplicable to the Reason Why We Still Need Feminism Dammit!, and now it looks like the fucker has deleted or blocked all comments. D:<

What a coward.

I was reading as it was going on, and now the post has been massively eta'd, and it look like he's upset about the comment loss...

You totally have the appropriate icon for this situation.

Hey, since he has restored the comments, I hope you will consider sharing your collection of links?

I LOVED the comment by Loligo - the one where s/he suggested that theferrett and friends wear pins saying, "I would like to be asked if I can touch your boobs," or "please do not pester me with your body parts." It didn't go over well with theferrett.

I'm guessing that theferrett would feel a little exposed if he had either one of these pins. He'd be advertizing his need to everyone on the floor. He'd get some bad responses. Some people would sneer at him. Some people would laugh. Some people would ask him to touch body parts that he didn't want to touch.

Maybe some other men would be laughed at even if they didn't wear the pin, just because they were around him. Maybe he'd be worried about a whole lot of men being tarred with the same brush. Maybe he'd be worried about ending up on an internet site with this button on proudly displayed and the site's commenters would laugh at him. Maybe a bunch of women would avoid him or dislike him. Or, conversely, he could be mobbed, set on by person after person who wanted to make his con experience about something *they* might enjoy rather than something he migh enjoy.

And always, he'd be waiting and waiting, wondering what people thought. Wondering who was going to ask him and whether he would want to do anything, and how to say no, and what their reaction to that might be.

In other words, *he* would have to carry the whole burden for his mystical, healing experience. And as much as he would love to worm his way out of that by talking about how he wouldn't get as many numbers and women might feel self-conscious asking him, the fact is that he's trying to get out of it because that doesn't sound quite as fun.

I had that thread open, so I've got most of it saved in html and can cap it, if you'd like.

But yeah, I love how he's like "But you're expecting me to wear a pin which might cause some folks to judge me!" OH NOES, IMAGINE THAT.

*sigh*

Don't dig him or the people all confusing that ish with being body-positive.

Good comment. All I've got is Sethe's "They stole my milk!"

Um, okay, I can't identify the body-part pictured in your icon. I'm very disoriented by it.

There's a big difference between being body-positive and being public-domain! Really, any economist could tell you people tend not to value things that are public domain.

Apparently breasts DON'T have nerve endings! I must have been imagining all that actual sensation. Because, I mean, if they were an actual erogenous zone that women could feel, surely he'd be proclaiming how awesome and freeing it was for women to demand sexual pleasure for themselves like this. But apparently it's all about the freedom to allow men to get themselves off using your unfeeling body. SO EMPOWERED, BETTY. I MIGHT JUST BURST.

I never knew that my breasts – MINE! – were good enough for strange men to want to grope! NOW I HAVE SELF-ESTEEM!

Ugh, just...ugh.

I'd compare it to asking a guy "May I please grab your crotch?" but knowing some guys that go to cons, that would be like asking if they wanted a million dollars.

This is so disgusting! I'm sorry some men can't control their obsessive need to touch women, but that doesn't mean I should put my body out for the sacrifice.

(And I'm sorry I just randomly stopped in; I saw this through a friend and freaked)

Yeah, I just. I just want to say, "Why are YOUR issues, whatever they be, MY problem?" Sorry about your breast fixation, but my breasts are already taken! By me.

Thanks so much for pointing everyone towards this idiocy. What an absolute sleaze!! O_O I can say this for certain: the hubby is getting *NO* boob action tonight!

*fumes*

Poor the-hubby! Surely he is not of this ilk?

But yeah, sometimes it is a little difficult to be fond of men.

OK, is it just my internet or did the six pages of comments disappear? Also, why is it that every time I think the Internet has horrified me enough for one day, something new shows up D:

Yeah, apparently he decided he didn't like the reactions he's getting?

By the time I'd gotten to that, he'd posted what I gather was the second update. While I'm still not happy about the original project, my vitriol is mitigated by the fact that he does now seem to *get* it and is acting accordingly. Good learning experience, that--too bad he had to do it on the internet.

Yes, or, at least, I'm not certain he gets why it's offensive, but I do think he gets why it's a bad idea.

Also: because asking a Black woman if I can touch her hair is totally a healing experience for both of us, right? (I don't mean to imply the experiences are equivalent, but is theferret completely tone deaf?)

Short reply: as a Black woman, who has had strangers touch/try to touch both my hair and my breasts, I think this is a pretty accurate metaphor. More later.

You know I am eagerly waiting for your 'more'.

I am loving my flist all over the place because of all the smart, totally superb, fantastic commentary--and, your comment? Fantastic.

You may have already seen it, but I'm running around reccing it like crazy: Misia's Open Source Swift Kick to teh Boobs Project, A Modest Proposal.

Kick to the balls, surely? But yes, it's the sort of brilliant project that makes me glad of fandom.

Some men are just stupid. I mean that. I have been around stupid men. I myself have been a stupid man. Well, more like "stupid boy"; by the time I was old enough to not be considered a "boy" anymore, I had the stupidity beaten into remission.

I mean, I'm a guy. I'm walking down the street and I spot a woman whom I happen to find pleasing to my eyes. Does that mean I go up to her and ask her if I can feel her skin or her hair, or if I can stare soulfully into her eyes? Do I do that even with girls I know relatively well in realspace that I happen to find attractive?

Hell, no.

I may be a man, but having hormones does not automatically preclude decency and good manners and general politeness. Anybody that thinks it does is a damned moron upon whom I shall lay down righteous vengeance. There.

Excellent response! Was redirected to your journal by nimnod.

Good job on being articulate. I was pretty much stuck in KEYBOARD SMASH mode for HOURS.

Oh, look. I'm still there.

Sometimes, insane, inarticulate rage is a proportionate reaction! And sometimes, you know, it's the only to convey the enormity of a thing. I think jacquez said in response to a racist stupidity "I'm so-- can't BRAIN. TOO ANGRY." That might not be her exact words, though.

I'm not sure either, but it seems like a rare and consequently valuable bit of perspective to have.

Through the miracle of friends: I know someone who goes to the comic store that theferret does, and he (my acquaintance) knows someone who punched theferret in the balls. This makes me happy.

I would, obviously, never condone or endorse that kind of violence. No matter how VISCERALLY SATISFYING and EXTREMELY CATHARTIC it would be.

Also, I take from this that he is also aggravating IRL, which I learn with an extreme lack of shock.

This is sad, but how can anyone not know this was coming? With the way thing have "progressed" in con-dom (no jokes please) over the years, this is just a logical (but totally wrong) progression. I am happy to hear that many women are against this. This shows strength, on their part. However, were there any women that chose to wear the "Yes" button? I sure hope not!

Just say no to unwanted contact!