Sturdy and Serviceable

lo entenderás cuando llegue tu Healing Buttsex


Proposed:
teapot
brown_betty
If your story raises the question, "but what do they eat?", unless it is a horror story, it should answer it.

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
I just had the most amazing experience with an "Is your (windows) computer running?" phone scammer.

Like, he mangled his opening line so badly that I said "I beg your pardon?" to give him an opportunity to recover, and then he mangled it again, and I had to make myself hang up on him because otherwise I was going to end up giving him pointers, and coaching him through his script.

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Dear Pinterest
teapot
brown_betty
Never in my life have I thought, "I wish there was some site where I could see thumbnails of things while being harassed to sign up/install an app, and have to jump through a series of hoops to go find the actual thing linked."

No one has ever thought this.

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
I've levelled up again in kitchen disaster: I just burnt my first pot. Melted it right onto the element.

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
Hey, anyone who liked the last Welcome to Night Vale crossover I recced may also enjoy Love is All You Need (To Destroy Your Enemies), by [archiveofourown.org profile] shadydave, a Dresden Files crossover based, at least initially, on "Hey, both chracters are named Carlos!" and instead of the intricate world-building of the the Daemon AU, this one has loopy time-travel, but I suspect it may appeal to some of the same people. (Warning! It's a WIP.)</a>

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Tags:

(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
I need some automatic dog-feeding mechanism that will track intake. My design would utilize:

Raspberry Pi
Wifi Adaptor
RFID in dog/dog's collar
electric scale
some kind of electric locking mechanism.

Come on, capitalism, this is the sort of problem you are always claiming you are so great at solving.

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
Man, you click on *one* "How big was a Tyranosaur's penis" Discovery chanel promo, and suddenly Youtube wants to show you eight million two-dogs-humping, turtle-trying-to-fuck-a-boot, donkey-dong videos.

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
Biking for people who didn't plan to be this into biking/things no one told you about biking because maybe it was obvious?

  1. You are going to burn calories doing this. Eat something!

  2. Biking is hot. Not, like, sexy, (well, whatever butters your muffin) but all those calories you are burning? BURNT THINGS MAKE HEAT. You know how with babies you put on an extra layer? With biking, you should probably take off a layer. Except your ears and hands. You can put on a extra layer there.

  3. Pants and bikes are natural enemies. Your bike hates your pants, and your pants hate your bike. Keep them away from each other. Biking stores will sell you velcro with reflector strips on them, which if you are me, you will immediately lose: these are for strapping down your pant-cuffs. When you lose them, you may be happy to know you can use those leg-warmers that never really were as stylish as everyone was telling you to the same effect. You will look like an enormous dork, but you're already biking, so really, what have you got to lose?

  4. Gears are confusing, so I will explain. Lower gears are for biking into the wind. Higher gears are for when your feet are going around too fast and keep flying off your pedals. Some people may tell you that lower gears are for going uphill, but why are you going uphill? What's so important at the top of the hill? Absolutely nothing is that fucking important. Biking uphill is for chumps and people on anabolic steroids. You can go around hills. The wind, on the other hand, is guaranteed to swing around and oppose you no matter where you go.

  5. You probably need to add 20% to Google Maps' time estimate. The time given is for expert bikers, which is ridiculous, because expert bikers know better than to use Google Maps. Google Maps doesn't really understand how bikes work. You can totally go down that alleyway, over that grassy margin, and through that pedestrian overpass, and you can definitely go around that hill. (See point 4.) Once you figure out a route that takes advantage of this, you can take the 20% back off.

  6. You can get all over town on a dirt-cheap bike. You can only go about three blocks on a cheap bike lock. (I don't really know about good bike locks, but go on youtube. People there will explain this to you at somewhat terrifying length.)

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(no subject)
teapot
brown_betty
I've seen a variation on this exchange come up a couple times:

Lady: "Preparing to not shave my legs for no-shave November!"
Dude: "Well prepare for no-dick December, then. Ew!"

And, okay, as a maybe asexual-ish person? Not super into dick person? My opinion is probably not standard, so obviously, this is why polls were created.

(My opinion, for the record: "well, okay? What do I have to not do for you to remove all the dandelions from my yard?")

But, to ask a question that is not actually asked, if you had to choose between A) End of gender inequality for ever and ever, and B) Have Penis in Vagina sex, ever again,

Would this be a hard choice?



(ETA: leg judgement free zone! Whatever you do with your legs, I am assuming you're doing the best thing for you, in your situation. No matter what you do with your legs, I assume you do care about gender equality, unless you actually ticked "I hate equality".)

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Reviews: Genevieve Valentine, Joan Roughgarden, Kim Harrison, Ilona Andrews, Ben Aaronovitch
teapot
brown_betty
Dead Witch Walking (The Hollows, #1): ★★☆☆☆Collapse )

Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People: ★★★☆☆Collapse )

The Girls at the Kingfisher Club: ★★★★☆Collapse )

Gunmetal Magic (Kate Daniels, #5.5): ★★★☆☆Collapse )

Broken Homes (Peter Grant, #4): ★★★★☆Collapse )

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